THIS DREADFUL THING IS APPARENTLY A FERRARI

Purosangue proves that Maranello has lost its marbles. Heavens forbid it’s a SUV!

These pictures of a disguised SUV mule tell a horrible story. They will without doubt make Enzo Ferrari turn in his grave and are further proof that the world’s finest brand is committing marketing suicide.

OVER HIS DEAD BODY. PITY HE’S DEAD.

Ferrari won’t be alone spinning in his tomb. Late Ferrari boss Sergio Marchionne also famously promised, “you have to shoot me first,” on questions of a SUV out of Maranello just a few years back. But he’s dead now. And here it is. Even the recently departed CEO Louis Camilleri admitted “Ferrari and SUV don’t go together.” But he’s also fled.

Sure, it makes financial sense. Sure there are thousands of ‘untapped’ clients in shady nuveau economies ready to pay top dollar for a truck with a black donkey languishing on its flanks. And sure it makes fantastic business sense. But a Ferrari SUV? Why not sell diamonds made of candy floss? Or bars of gold forged of chocolate? So why the hell a Ferrari SUV?

Anyway, it matters not what we say or do, because Purosangue — that’s also a bloody cheek — calling it Pureblood, or thoroughbred. They don’t race donkeys, do they? And donkeys don’t have pedigrees. But Purosangue is coming whether we like it or not. Just because folk who know no better will buy them by the thousand.

NOT ALL BAD NEWS

It’s not all bad news. Purosangue will bring a patented new Formula-inspired 1 turbo system to market. It has an exhaust tract turbine generator that basically converts latent exhaust energy into electricity to charge a battery. That battery energy then drives the turbo compressor. The system eliminates turbo lag and also retains the car’s typically crackling Ferrari exhaust soundtrck

The new front-mid-engined Ferrari mud-plugger has a few interesting chassis tricks up its sleeve too. Smaller than a Lamborghini Urus, it will have coupé-like dimensions and its engine set far behind the front axle and driving four wheels. A rear transaxle incorporates both a dual-clutch gearbox and the hybrid system’s electric motor-generator. A rear-wheel driven V6 version will be also available without hybrid drive.

The flexible new platform can also be spun in variable wheelbases, seating configurations and vehicle heights. So two and four seater and 2+2 models are all plausible going forward. The chassis majors in lightweight construction and utilises various exotic materials from carbonfibre to composites and aluminium. All of which will ensure that those new rich buyers lash out more than enough of whatever currency they may be spending.

FOREVER WORSE

Yes. Purosangue makes perfect business sense. But it has bugger all to do with anything that Ferrari has ever stood for. This bastard is going to change motoring’s most iconic brand forever for the worse.

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