BASTARD BAKKIE-BEAST REVERSES OUT OF MONZA

Palladium

This Ram truck based Aznom Palladium thinks it’s a Rolls Royce. Really!

Ever imagined how the spawn of a Star Wars pod and an ox wagon would look? Well, we can’t show you such a hypothetical beast, but this is what just happened in Italy. Obscure carmaker Aznom has crafted a go-anywhere Rolls Royce rival out of a Ram 1500 Laramie Longhorn truck, as the Yanks like to call bakkies. And it plans to sell ten of them.

A FETISH FOR DONALD’S BESAT

To start, Aznom is Monza in reverse, where the carmaker is based. Founder Marcello Meregalli is both carmaker and wine merchant. And he has a fetish for ultra limousines like Donald’s Beast. “I’ve always been passionate about large automobiles,” our Marcello admits. “When Cadillac unveiled the new presidential limousine — a luxury sedan with the proportions of a classic sedan built out of mega-SUV — I was intrigued.”

So inspired, Meregalli set about his dream of a go-anywhere limo. Plausibly to traverse far-flung vineyards in search of his next vintage stash. We’re not sure to laugh or to cry, to be honest, but it seems Aznom appointed three, maybe four designers to pen the mighty Palladium. One drew the front, another the back, and two more, the sides. Pity Marcello forgot to introduce his stylists to each other. Same goes for the cabin — who did what?

Palladium was in reality penned by Italian Studio Camal and with that — er — in place, it appears Aznom came across an army surplus special on RAM 1500 Longhorn trucks in Northern Italy and acquired ten. The hatchets came out. Then arc welders and buckets of body putty… And voila! Behold Palladium! The hyper-limousine!

PALLADIUM GETS FRISKY TOWARD THE REAR

Palladium’s facade phantom appears to have been crafted by a pile of LED highlighters. You can’t hide a leopard’s spots though and that Ram profile shines through. The front three-quarters are bland by comparison, but Palladium gets frisky towards the rear with erotic Coke bottle haunches below a postbox rear quarter window.

The boxy roofline likewise changes its mind as it progresses. Starting square, it becomes ever sleeker before curtailing in blend of Vantage and Veloster. A giant boot emerges like a giant drawer, complete with luggage to match the Foglizzo interior leather, and an autographed Francisco Maglia umbrella.

The cabin is dominated by something of a quilted Foglizzo water love bed like bench with a couple of seatbelts and ’31 Auburn levels of rear legroom. There are enough hidden storage nooks and crannies stash all those votes someone in Washington is looking for right now, and a mine’s worth of aluminium trim, too.

CHAMPAGNE, GOLD, AND PALLADIUM

Add a champagne fridge, a pair of Surface Pro X tablets and an Audison sound system. A removable handmade gold and (what else?) palladium clock rounds off the luxury cabin spec.

That’s all countered by a staock looking, albeit luxury-trimmed Ram dashboard. A new driver’s door touchscreen controls each passenger’e climate, the fridge, interior lights, boot, doors and windows; and opens and closes all those secret compartments.

Slip under the skin and most of it is Ram. The Monza Garage tuned 530 kW 950 Nm 5.7-litre Ram biturbo V8 has an economy 4-cylinder mode and turns an eight-speed autobox. Palladium retains Ram’s four-wheel-drive, but the low-range transfer box has been removed.

Palladium does come with an electronic locking differential though. Aznom fits custom 22-inch aluminium wheels shod with 285/45ZR22 rubber and six-piston Brembo GT disc brakes up front with four-pot callipers at the rear.

Aznom is clearly proud of Palladium’s alleged pedigree. “Engine builders, tanners, panel beaters, designers and engineers who have worked on this project are heirs to a tradition that has made Italian cars famous all around the world,” the company crows. Take a walk through our album below before you decide the credence of that quote…

NEED ROLLS ROYCE BE CONCERNED?

So there you have it. We’ll leave it to you to decide if you want to save up for your Palladium rather than that Rolls, and whether Goodwood HQ needs to be concerned. Either way, no price is mentioned, but expect it to be mad. There are however likely ten buyers in this wild world, each of whom will be able to fully customise their very own Aznom Palladium.

Maybe even one who may soon have a Beast or two to trade…?

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